Garrison

This Harry Potter themed breakfast was pretty noms. I made the deathly hallows symbol out of sliced pineapple and mango. Then we got a little sorcercer’s stone omelette with fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, fun-ions, and cheese. Not one, but two invisibility cloak slices of toast topped with a mango, pineapple, chocolate, and maple puree. Lastly, we have a chocolate and raspberry flying death eater trying to steal the cloaks. What a jerk…. and by that time I realized I forgot to make something resembling the elder wand… but whatevs. It was still a breakfast tasty enough to fight off you know who!

Don’t worry! We’ve got you taken care of! Come see The PIT’s most exciting house team, Family Haircut cool you off with some kick - ass long form improvisation. We go on at 8PM. And it’s free!

Also free? Other awesome house teams that perform all night! Shows start at 6 and go all the way to 11. After that, you can do it yourself at Improdome! FREE!

*Beers aren’t free, but high fives are.

Family Haircut is: Gary DeNoia, Lucas Hazlett, Erick Hellwig, Margaret Lyons, Mandy Schmeider, Rob Stern, and Rachel Wecht.

Yes, Mr. Dinklage. You sure as fuck did. His performance in “Blackwater” was nothing short of brilliant.

A kid finds a blank check. And Tone motherfuckin’ Loc is in it. What’s not to love?

The real question is: What would you do if you found a blank check?

Latest creation: Jerkmaican Me Crazy Stew. In a pot I sauteed pineapples, zucchini, squash, peppers, and mushrooms in a kick ass jerk sauce my roommate brought back from Jamaica. I then grilled chicken breast, diced it into cubes as well as shreds. Then I tossed that into the pot and let that shit Summer, Donna. I let it Summer, Donna for about an hour so when it was done it was way tender. Then I paired it with wilted spinach in a garlic broth. Popeye knew what he was talking about. Spinach is noms.

Then I brought my plate into the living room to watch the newest episode of Game Of Thrones. 

Then shit got real…

Chef Q is a aminal. He is straight eating these three salads with his hands.

Asian Harry Potter is having his anniversary dinner at my restaurant tonight.

I hope I meet asian Ginny Weasley. That would be sweet (and sour)!

The school I teach at is green but….. damn!

• Me: You doing anything this weekend?
• Chef Q: Besides fuckin', nothin'.... but crackers 'gon BBQ and niggas 'gon have they cook outs.
• Me: So are Spanish people gonna have siestas or something?
• Chef Q: Nah, Snowflake. Just babies.

You know there are a ridiculous amounts of jizz jazz underneath those boxes….. which is a shame. Cause that is a sweet ass Zelda collection. And I absolutely LURVE Zelda, but this is a bit much. Yeah, he might have a thumbs up pose and a smile on his face, but there are secrets underneath those boxes. That coffee table has been through ‘Nam. Jizz ‘Nam.

I totally agree, Arya. 

Did Lark Voorhees aka Lisa Turtle compete in the Hunger Games and not tell us? I think it’s safe to say the odds were NOT ever in her favor.

Rude. 2 Ways.